~~~女人心~~~

billzhangzsp168

北美崔哥说了：中华民族到了该娶老外的时候！ 祖国同胞们，各种证据表明，中国人民已经彻底站起来了！东亚睡狮那什么终于醒了------日本人心说，该狮子压根就没睡，只是睁一只眼闭一只眼罢了。党中央号召我们要走出国门，和国外接轨。什么叫接轨呢？ 我理解接轨就是接吻，结婚的意思，---- 因为离婚叫出轨。 中国人必须走出国门，打出自己的品牌。什么是自己的品牌呢？ 就是生出来的孩子要姓中国人的姓。你给老外生了孩子，姓个外国姓，像什么施瓦辛格呀，凯迪拉克呀什么的，那叫给外国产品作加工，不是自己的牌子。 随着中国人民从贫农变成地主老财，老外纷纷来华，娶我们中国妹子作太太，俗称攀高枝。对此，我们中国男人要化悲痛为力量；要采取行动，以毒攻毒，你娶我姐，我就娶你妹。那是必须的！ 国外不兴计划生育，我们中国男人又务实，讲究埋头苦干，每人生个七八个孩子不成问题。中国人多，干什么事都大手笔，不出十年，准保能生出好几个美国来。这叫不战而趋人之兵。 不过，中国男人要娶老外，还是相当任重道远的。首先要锻炼身体，增强抵抗力，要能做到洋太太翻身时不会误伤自己。周总理常说，身体是革命的本钱。毛委员也讲过，保存自己，才能更好地消耗敌人。（诸位其实可以把这两句记下来） 第二，中国男人要有预谋地积累胸毛，前胸和后背都应该有毛，让人看上去误认为你穿了一件毛坎肩。要多吃黄油和cheese, 就是奶酪，这样才能逐步培养出臭胳肢窝的味道。 第三，中国男人要学得大度大方，目睹洋太太上完厕所用大半卷手纸擦屁股时，要淡定，要做到喜怒不形于色。中国男人要逐步融入美国主流社会，多干一些美国白人经常干的事，比如，如果有人故意超车，不要在心里骂人家，要摇下车窗，抬手就是一枪，这种举止在美国女人眼里特别性感，绝对纯爷们。另外，中国男人骂人的时候不要动不动就骂人家的妈，要多学美国人，谁惹你你就骂谁，直截了当：Fuck You！（发克油！） 第四，见着白人妇女要显示出欧美男人的魅力，不要握手，要拥抱，要亲脸颊，要说甜言蜜语，比如 Honey (我的蜂蜜)，Sweetheart (我的甜心)，即便对方有糖尿病也爱听你这么叫她。如果想追求某女性，千万别写情书，那样太屌丝了，要特别坦率地对女方说，“你好小姐，一起睡个觉好吗？” 也许有人会说，欧美女人喜欢高大威猛，中国男人这么矮行吗？这种话绝对是反革命言论，看看人家拿破仑，普京，要多矮又多矮，别说女人，连男人都想嫁给他们？ 又有人说了，老外喜欢白人，中国人长这么黑，行吗？ 这是一句十分装孙子的话。奥巴马长的黑不黑？人家不照样当总统吗。中国人比他白多了，怕什么？我最恨灭自己威风的人。 总之，中华民族到了该娶老外的时候，每个男人都应该发出最后的吼声，好好干！好好干！好好干！既然睡了好几个世纪好不容易醒了，就干脆到别人家的地牌上，像个爷们似的干点正事儿吧。 北美崔哥脱口秀写完了，转载时请务必注明原作者“北美崔哥，”以免被网友辱骂时误伤着您。

mrj

Hi MJ, Thank you for your call last night! The deadly Hurricane Sandy did not spare our neighborhood; We are still living in the kind of life that our ancestor went through – no electricity, no water, no heat, no…not know when we will be back to our civilized society, but I do know what I want to put on my top wishing list of my Christmas gift this year – a generator! How are you and your family doing? Hope you are all safe and dry. Take care and talk to you later!

MJ 你好:

谢谢你昨晚的来电. 致命的飓风没有庇护我们的住家近邻,我们现在正生活经历先祖先前的那种生活 -- 没有电力,没有饮用水,没有暖气,..我们不知何时重返我们的文明社会生活,但我很清楚知道今年我最渴望的圣诞礼物是 -- 一台发电机! 你及你的家人还好吗? 希望你们大家从飓风,海啸灾难中平安.

保重, 以后再与你交谈.

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{ MJ 特译, 各位请斧正! Thanks ! }

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focus

雨杜鹃:Hi there, on the safe side, I need a generator too since we get snow storms often here, please ask Santa to send double...one for you and one for me Take care my dear friends (2012-11-01 21:45)

my niece was scheduled to come home for next morning specialist appointment from Waterloo u. her mom 1/4 way down to pick her up in the evening, got a call from her daughter: "mom, don't come tonight, i will catch the bus back first thing in the morning, because the whole Waterloo U campus are in the dark, it is thundering, lightening here. i did not even know the electricity went out..." this really concerned her mom:" what?! you did not know?! where were you? how come?! niece: my friends sent me texts,,, but i did not have my phone on, did not know. i was in the lab. there's back up light... .... the generator helps... ..................................................... 7399楼 发表于: 前天 06:19 月下飞鸽传书。。。没电，没网路，没电话可通。。。真正体会到黑暗的旧时会的黑。。。 幸好。。。还有月。。。 .....Our province, Ontario is sending 145 hydro workers to Boston tomorrow to help them out there...月下 hope you will get the power back soon...take care! you all. note: focus is having difficulties copy and paste from Google translate.... it is simply not allowing me to do so now.)

月下亦花前

focus: my niece was scheduled to come home for next morning specialist appointment from Waterloo u. her mom 1/4 way down to pick her up in the evening, got a call from her daughter: "mom, don't come tonight, i will catch the bus back first thing in the morning, because the whole Waterloo U campus are in the dark, it is thundering, lightening here. i did not even know the electricity went out..." this really concerned her mom:" what?! you did not know?! where were you? how come?! niece: my friends sent me texts,,, but i did not have my phone on, did not know. i was in the lab. there's back up light... .......

谢谢focus！ I do need a generator！！！ 这次俺是被"丧敌"（Sandy)困在NY数天， 经历了黑社会的黑。还好， 3小时前俺已逃离黑暗，曲线绕道回到家了， 正好赶得上接收focus送来的发电机。

billzhangzsp168

这是风灾和水灾,美国大兵开着装甲车,穿着能进水的皮鞋,怎么下水?

月下亦花前

被“丧敌”（Sandy) 连根铲起的树

台山大只佬

雨杜鹃:Happy Halloween to Everyone... 

详情请点击: <视频：万圣节父母恶搞孩子 后果很严重>
    http://www.youmaker.com/

台山大只佬

真情,珍贵,珍贵,真情...我们这一代人也曾有过的感受 村民吕侯生接受港媒《苹果日报》采访时说，“习大哥离村那天，我们一帮年轻人送他几十里地，直到县城，他老哥曾感动得不想走，我们骂他：‘你不回北京，以后我们去北京谁管我们饭？!’他才不情愿地走。那天晚上我们一起住县城旅馆，第二天一起去照相馆照相。这张相，现在全世界都流传。” 欲知详情欲要感受,请点击:　＜

习近平的一张相片“现在全世界都流传

”

＞

在送习近平(前排中)上大学时，梁家河村民和习近平的合影。（网络图片）

雨杜鹃

focus: my niece was scheduled to come home for next morning specialist appointment from Waterloo u. her mom 1/4 way down to pick her up in the evening, got a call from her daughter: "mom, don't come tonight, i will catch the bus back first thing in the morning, because the whole Waterloo U campus are in the dark, it is thundering, lightening here. i did not even know the electricity went out..." this really concerned her mom:" what?! you did not know?! where were you? how come?! niece: my friends sent me texts,,, but i did not have my phone on, did not know. i was in the lab. there's back up light... .......

一方有难,八方支援！好样的！看来美加各地都有不少志愿军的支持！

雨杜鹃

台山大只佬: 真情,珍贵,珍贵,真情...我们这一代人也曾有过的感受 村民吕侯生接受港媒《苹果日报》采访时说，“习大哥离村那天，我们一帮年轻人送他几十里地，直到县城，他老哥曾感动得不想走，我们骂他：‘你不回北京，以后我们去北京谁管我们饭？!’他才不情愿地走。那天晚上我们一起住县城旅馆，第二天一起去照相馆照相。这张相，现在全世界都流传。”

呵，俺也喜欢乡村比大城市多点！