笑话连篇

focus

Focus 一口气追番blink + hw79 早期嘅posts... very good! Let it rolling!!!
唸見到下面這\"世界好友週\", 與大家分享下...

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Very good, very, true, very meaningful !!! 出生一張紙，開始一輩子； 畢業一張紙，奮鬥一輩子； 婚姻一張紙，折磨一輩子； 做官一張紙，鬥爭一輩子； 金錢一張紙，辛苦一輩子； 榮譽一張紙，虛名一輩子； 看病一張紙，痛苦一輩子； 悼詞一張紙，了結一輩子； 淡化這些紙，明白一輩子； 忘了這些紙，快樂一輩子 ! 這週是世界好友週，如果你願意， 請把這條資訊發給你所有的好朋友 。 也包括我 ⋯⋯ 看有多少人會回發給你。 當大部分人都在關注你飛得高不高時， 只有少部分人關心你飛得累不累， 這就是 友情。 再忙，也要照顧好自己， 朋 友 雖不常聯繫，卻一直 惦念。 天涼時記著多穿衣！ 世界好 友周快樂！ 少喝奶茶、不吃剛烤好的麵包， 遠離正在充電的電源。 白天多喝水，晚上少喝， 一天不喝多於兩杯的咖啡。 少吃油多的食物， 最佳睡眠為晚上十點至早上六點 晚上五點後少吃大餐， 每天喝酒不超過一杯。 不用冷水服膠囊， 睡前半小時服藥忌立刻躺下。 睡眠不足八小時人會變笨， 有午睡習慣的人不易老。 手機電池剩一格時不要打電話， 剩一格時輻射是平時的一千倍。 要用左耳接電話， 用右耳會直 接傷害到大腦。 2010新概念 一個中心：一切以健康為中心。 兩個基本點： 遇事瀟灑一點， 看世糊塗一點。 三個忘記： 忘記年齡， 忘記過去， 忘記恩怨。 四個擁有： 無論你有多弱或多強，一定要 擁有真正愛你的人， 擁有知心的朋 友 ， 擁有向上的事業， 擁有溫暖的住所。 五個要： 要唱， 要跳， 要俏， 要笑， 要苗條。 六個不能： 不能餓了才吃， 不能渴了才喝， 不能困了才睡， 不能累了才歇， 不能病了才檢查， 不能老了再後悔。 看到了，發給每一個你 珍 惜的朋 友.

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［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-4-8 13:02:54 编辑过］

focus

focus likes this story...Monkeys could be smarter than humans. Hope you do as well.



Chimp flogs champ in memory test
Article from: The Daily Telegraph
<div class=\"caption\">Not the same ape ... but here's an obviously cluey chimp playing, er,poker. While wearing a T-shirt. As you do </div>

January 26, 2008 12:00am

WHENscientists found out that chimps had better memories than students,there were unkind comments about the calibre of the human competitionthey faced.
But now an ape has gone one better, trouncing British memory champion Ben Pridmore.

Ayumu,a seven-year-old male brought up in captivity in Japan, did three timesas well as Mr Pridmore at a computer game which involved rememberingthe position of numbers on a screen.

Andthat's no mean feat - the 30-year-old accountant from Derby is capableof memorising the order of a shuffled pack of cards in under 30 seconds.

This amazing ape inspired us to put together a stunning picture gallery of primates doing human stuff. Check it our here.

Britain'sDaily Mail newspaper revealed both chimp and man watched a computerscreen on which five numbers flashed up at various positions beforebeing obscured by white squares.

They then had to touch thesquares in order of the numbers they concealed, from lowest to highest.When the numbers were shown for just a fifth of a second - the blink ofan eye - Ayumu got it right almost 90 per cent of the time.

His human opponent scored a rather less impressive 33 per cent.
Mr Pridmore, who spends his evenings memorising 400-digit numbers, ruefully acknowledged that he had met his match.
\"I'll never live it down,\" he admitted.
Thetests follow scientific experiments which pitted Ayumu, along withseveral other young chimps, against a group of university students.
Ayumu was the clear champion, doing twice as well as the humans.

Itis thought that young chimps are blessed with photographic memories,allowing them to remember patterns and sequences with amazing accuracy.

ProfessorTetsuro Matsuzawa, the Kyoto University researcher behind both sets ofexperiments, said: \"People still believe that humans are superior tochimpanzees in any domain of intelligence.
\"That is the prejudice of the people.
\"Chimpanzees can be clever in a specific task in comparison to humans.\"

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-4-8 23:03:06 编辑过］

focus

hw79:
大海为什么是蓝色的？……答：因为大海里有很多小鱼，小鱼一边游一边吐泡泡：“布噜~布噜~布噜(blue)…”

Hw79, That's cute!
:-)I have always thought it is because of the reflection... hehehe

Blink

focus,
你令Blink感動呢，竟然花那么多寶貴時間\"從頭閱\"。Blink堅信有你及大家的參与及支持，笑話連篇一定會笑話百出，眾者介笑口常開。期待著...

Blink愚見，笑是一种很好的減壓方法，笑也是最好的良藥。不是嗎？心情開朗的要訣，就是常常笑。笑使你驅除任何的不快，笑使你百病全消。

Blink

老妈叫我翻译

老妈：这个“I don’t know.”是什么意思？
我说：“我不知道”
老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！
老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&.......(一顿爆揍)

老妈：你再给我说说这个，“I know.”什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。
我说：是“我知道”
老妈：知道就快说。
我说：就是“我知道”
老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？
我说：就是我知道呀！
老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍)

老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我再收拾你，你给我翻译一下“I know but I don’t want to tell you.”是什么意思？
我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧。
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,I’m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me”是什么意思啊~?
我说:“我很烦,别烦我”
老妈:“找打,跟老妈这么说话”(于是被扁)

老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary”是何意啊？
我说:“查字典”
“查字典我还问你做甚”(被扁)
老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢？
我说:“你最好问别人”
“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打，我再问你:“use you head,then think it over”,又是什么意思啊!
我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想”
“臭小子,还敢耍我”接着又要动手。
我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”
“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

focus

Blink:

focus,
你令Blink感動呢，竟然花那么多寶貴時間\"從頭閱\"。Blink堅信有你及大家的參与及支持，笑話連篇一定會笑話百出，眾者介笑口常開。期待著...

Blink愚見，笑是一种很好的減壓方法，笑也是最好的良藥。不是嗎？心情開朗的要訣，就是常常笑。笑使你驅除任何的不快，笑使你百病全消。



[/quote

Absolutely agree with you here. Blink. Thank you for launching this topic. Let's get crazy!!!

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-4-9 3:27:26 编辑过］

hw79

focus:

hw79:
昨天在沃尔玛，突然闹肚子，强忍着冲进卫生间，刚一蹲下就开始惊天动地的喷发，结一果隔壁的小孩大哭起来，她妈问她怎么了，她说，臭～～

...Focus 正搞掂個報稅, 續讀...
Hw79, 下次記著講声:\"Oh,I am so sorry! Honey. But I feel good...\"咾.

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-4-8 11:55:56 编辑过］

No problem, be Focused.

hw79

信徒：“万能的上帝啊，一万年对您来说是多长呢？”上帝：“我眨一下眼的功夫。”信徒：“那么10亿元钱呢？”上帝：“不过是我的一根头发而已。”信徒：“哦，慈悲的上帝啊，那就请您给我一根头发吧。”上帝：“没问题，等我眨一下眼之后给你。”

hw79

hw79:
大海为什么是蓝色的？……答：因为大海里有很多小鱼，小鱼一边游一边吐泡泡：“布噜~布噜~布噜(blue)…”

Hw79, That's cute!
:-)I have always thought it is because of the reflection... hehehe

Hi,Focus:
Please move your focus to the link below, you will also find cute staff there.
有趣的网络论坛新语(转贴) - 供大家一笑

Be cool.

focus

Hw79,
偶尔发現blink's link, 笑笑已經把呢輪嘅煩腦忘記了...
依家你同我講:\"紅衛亦有個link\"太好了!有你與Blink,
两位勞苦公公,提供幽默,有趣嘅笑話.我一定捧場!
多笑笑,focus一定会長命些...

［此帖子已被 focus 在 2010-4-9 10:21:33 编辑过］