诗之美 - 《一只吻我的狗》英译、解析——得一忘二

hw79

作者、译者：得一忘二

A Dog That Kissed Me
　　　　　　　　Hanxin (1968-)　tr. Fan Jinghua
It scampered up, breaths audible,
Paws on my shoulder, licking me
Over and over,
Soft, warm, and a little sour.

So conscientious! Without fences or thorns,
The road in the body was broad and bright,
Free to come and free to go.
This was much more gratifying
Than love with a man

　　一只吻我的狗
　　　　　　　寒馨

它跑来，呼哧呼哧
趴在我肩上，舔我
一遍又一遍
软软的、暖暖的，微酸

它多认真，没有栅栏、没有刺
身体里的路宽敞、明亮
来去无束
这比同人相恋
舒服很多
　　　　　　　2008年8月23日

　　"Kiss" in the title indicates that the speaker is comparing the dogwith men, and therefore the acts of the dog shall be understood alongwith the comparison. The first stanza is very detailed, going slowly,just as the phrase "over and over" tries to represent. The firststanza, then, is a long and patient foreplay. However, a sense ofproportion underlies beauty, and in this poem the foreplay appears tobe a little too long and it expects a heightened climax. But, this poemis essentially anticlimactic, for it is not about the heightenedsensation of love but about the subsiding "comfort" (one of the literalmeanings of 舒服 in the last line).
　　"Conscientious" may not be asatisfying translation, as the original phrase 认真 has multiple meansfrom dutiful, dedication and diligent to earnest and taking to heart.The contrast is that the dog is a better partner than a man, at least.The reason is implied in the following phrases of "no fences, nothorns," and the consequence (?) is the broad and bright road in thebody, without any 束restraint. The 束 here is also very slippery, and theetymological meaning evokes the image of (binding into) a bundle, butit may mean 拘束trammel, 管束control, 约束bond and commitment.
　　As thepoem does not use punctuations at the end of lines, and the three linesin the second stanza do not necessarily read the way I have explicated.An *****native translation may be:
　　　　It is so conscientious, no fences, no thorns
　　　　The road in the body broad and bright
　　　　No restraint for coming and going
　　The climax appears to be when men are brought into the play, but it isthe absence of men that the comparison is made. The comparison betweena man (or men) and a dog needs further explication. In Chinese, it isthe most derogatory insult to compare a man to a beast (more derogatorythan calling a policeman a pig in English). Therefore, the animalpleasure of sex is never a morally justifiable enjoyment. The phrase 舒服(comfortable) implies that the pleasure comes not from the fulfillinggratification of orgasm but from a kind of infiltrating interfusionwhich may be better understood in terms of subsiding phase.
　　However, if the pursuit of orgasm is not self-justified, myinterpretation can only be taken as a metaphor. That is, this poem isnot a metaphor about sexual relation between men and women in asociety, but should be interpreted literally. We may simple say thatthis is a poem about the appreciation of the love from a pet. It isabout the relation between human beings and the animals, and the petsmay provide more ready “comfort” than human beings do.

　　这首诗的第一节写得很具体，就是狗舔自己的感觉，用了吻，自然不仅仅是一种喜欢的意思，还是一种拟人，于是狗就已经在行为上被视为人了。那么，这一切动作可以理解为一种爱的行为，更进一步，是前戏一般的意味。然而，美好事物的一个关键是分寸感或者比例，而这首诗的铺垫似乎有点多了。铺垫越多也许对于高潮的期待越高，而这首诗其实有点反高潮。因此，我想第一节直接简化为：它跑来，舔我，温软、微酸。也许这样就够了。之所以保持软软的、暖暖的意思，是因为微酸这个意思值得保留。实际上，舒服的感觉其实足够性感了，而且是高潮之后的。
　　第二节用“认真”来衡量一只狗的吻，说明狗的投入（实际上也暗暗指责人却无法达到），接着说其原因（没有栅栏、刺），又说投入的结果（身体的路宽敞明亮，也就是说这个我被打开了，而且幸福）。当然，这首诗并没有在行末用标点符号，因此这里的原因和结果只能是我的阐释，例如可以换一种翻译法。
　　这首诗的翻译难度不仅仅来自于语法层面，还来自于语义层面。认真，在汉语中不仅仅是conscientious用心，而且可能是dutiful尽心、dedicated专心、diligent细心、用功、勤勉、earnest心诚、take toheart当真，等。而同样，下面的那个来去无束的“束”字，词源意义具有很强的意象性，指（捆成）一束，但是此刻它可以是拘束、管束、约束等词组的意思。
　　这首诗的高潮在于将“与人相恋”带了进来，起到一种可以期待的震惊效果。但是由于“人”是作为一种缺席而被带入这首诗的，因此，这一震惊其实是高潮之后的反高潮效果。注意这里的人是与动物对比，这反而就暗示了人不如兽了，中文最侮辱人的话莫过于“禽兽不如”，如果我们将这个人视为一个男人，那么也可以说男人甚至不如畜牲。
　　如此说来，这里的动物性高潮，也就是纯粹的肉体行为，也就被否认了的。舒服这个词的性感在于它确实可以说是高潮之后的美好感受，其愉悦感指向一种渗透式的交融而非一种填充式的满足。正因为对于肉体享受不能自我正当化，因此我的读解反而只能在隐喻意义上理解。这就是说，当我从性的角度来解读这首诗的时候，当我将这首诗阐释为社会中男人与女人之间的性关系时，性实际上应该是一种隐喻。所以，还是要回到这首诗的字面意义本身，亦即，这是一首有关宠物的诗，说的是我们对于小动物的爱的欣喜；这种关系远比人与人的关系更具有安慰性。

［此帖子已被 hw79 在 2010-2-20 4:27:01 编辑过］

刘树民

感谢HW79多次给我们报道这么好的帖子，祝福新春快乐。

陈乔樱

拜读，感谢引荐。

心下较些子

我给狗咬过，也让狗舔过

有时

会从狗的身上看到人的不足；

再从人的身上看到狗的丑陋。

粗读两次，很有意思的文章！